As I described the exercise reflecting on the best thing that happened this day, and re-experience the sensations of that experience. Do this exercise daily and in the end of the 30 days you experience deeper and fuller sensory awareness of your life, that many people call being alive.
Today is Day 9.
Elderly parents are not the same people, not the same parents we knew back in our childhood. Aging person goes through set of various processes, physiologically and mentally. Forty, fifty years later, they are just not that same person they were when they were young, filled with energy and life. Realizing this we must begin to treat our aging parents differently. They are truly different people as they were twenty, thirty, fifty, years ago. As we are also. We are not the same people. We are mature adults. Or are we?
Research shows that many of us might have families on our own, relationships with peers, work, and children to bring up, and et we often find ourselves in situations with larger family, particularly parents, when we wind up resuming our roles established back on our childhood, as children in regard to them. Seeking their approval, feedback, authority. Family dynamics changes in the presence of aging parents to regress back in time. Unlike many intentional goals we set in life, relationship with parents is often a sequence of unresolved relational interactions.
Realizing that the roles are reversing and the dynamics is changing might help your relationship with your parents and also the attitude when in their presence. Assuming reversing responsibilities toward your parents might improve your dynamics if done gradually, consentually and smoothly.
On the other hand, changes in improving family dynamics can be applied by asserting your own behavior as a matured adult.
How do you hold yourself when you are in their presence in your ideal representation of yourself?
Are you holding the space for them to continue to make their decisions? Yet, positioning yourself, so you are available, helpful and directing your energy to be as available and helpful in the space that you hold for them, and define the limit of your helpfulness with allowance for yourself to remain yourself.
Knowing your ideal balanced position in your body and holding your intention is empowering. This position is also flexible and constantly emerging. Allowing this emergence, and experiencing it sequentially in each part of my body for me, and you for yourself, I continue this physical experience of myself when I am in balance and in intention with my parents, panning my visit. I experience my intention ahead of time, in my body, and plan the attitude in my body for the whole holiday time that I am going to spend with them.
Practicing this intention, the sensation of this intention with my parents, in my body, will allow me to stay focused and do the best I can when I am around them. Patiently, I run this moment in my body, allowing myself to take notice on how I hold my torso, my head, where is my gaze, how is my breathing, shoulders being relaxed, calmness and patience in my head, absence of tension in my body, and presence of pleasurable anticipation of the next thing, that is unknown, yet very enticing, – the time with my mom and dad! Running these sensations over and over, now this is one more daily experience to practice.
Again, noticing my torso, …my head, …my gaze, …my breathing, …shoulders being relaxed, …calmness …patience, scanning my body to exhale the remainder of tension in my body, and enhance the presence of pleasurable anticipation of the next thing, yet unknown, enhancing, exciting, enticing.