Do You Mean – You Don’t Do Botox???!!!

No Botox?

“Do you mean you don’t do Botox?”  I heard a woman’s voice sounded quite offended. I turned around and became a witness to this conversation in a business office as I stopped in for some paperwork after my speaking engagement with a women’s group. I poured water into my paper cup as I heard two women talking, one was sitting at her desk staring at a large computer screen, and her colleague sitting in a guest chair next to her.

“I don’t do Botox. I eat healthy and workout.” said the guest. “besides I know we all have to age. My goal is to age gracefully. But I know I will get more wrinkles. That’s how life is.” She was leaning back in her chair. Slim and tall, she had her grey hair pulled back in a ponytail, a dark wool jacket tied at her front. She wore high hilled platform shoes with red botoms. This was a leisure conversation over lunch at a desk.

“So what are you going to do about getting old? By the way, I have 15 years on you.” she said straightening her jacket on her sides.

“As I get older I get frustrated looking at my wrinkles.” said the first woman pointing to her eyes with her polished fingertip.

“So don’t look at yourself!” said her colleague with a smile. “What do you want?”

“I want to not be bothered so I can lay in bed and read.” the first woman lazily spread her arms over her desk.

“So quit and go home.” Her colleague replied.

“Yes, I really want to get out of here!” The first woman continued as if not hearing her colleague. Looking out the window, it was clear she meant more than getting out of the office she was in. It was a double entendre, but nobody noticed it, except me.

“I want to move to Israel and go the mountain and meditate there, all alone! I never want to see people again.” Suddenly she made a move toward her bag and pulled out a pill box.

“Alright,” said her guest, “Then take the poison. Clearly you are not motivated to live.”

Another double entendre, still unnoticed.

“Oh, I can’t do that. I have a son in college.”

“So then don’t.” Said the colleague, clearly disinterested by this conversation. “Live on and suffer.” She uttered sarcastically and turned away to leave.

“It’s just too much work. Lidah, you know. Everything is just too frustrating to bother.”

“Oh, you can’t be tired, Misha. You just came back from your vacation. How was it by the way?”

“Vacation was great. Israel is a lovely place in the high mountains. Men there looked at me like I was a piece of cake.” Misha moved her designed glasses so they made quite an impressive sparkly headband in her orangy hair, and day-dreaming, pulled her cheek skin upward feeling for the creases around her mouth with her pinkies.

” Maybe you need a man.” Lidah looked at her above her glasses.

“Neah, it’s too much work.” Misha threw her hands in the air and rolled her eyes. Her black silk jacket opened revealing a bright cashmere sweater same color as her lips: “I have to make a decision whether to go to his place, or mine, and it is just too much work. Besides, men get frustrating after a while.” She deflated again: “Aren’t you frustrated with your husband?”

“Everyone has their moments.” Lidah looked as if caught by surprise. “It is a matter of where you are putting your attention. I love Mike, he is a great man. We are growing old together.” She giggled.

“You are the only happy woman on Earth then. Every woman I know is frustrated with her man. That’s why I don’t want to bother.”

“So what do you want instead?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps I should move to Israel. I think I would be happy washing the floors somewhere in the third world country.” She said while unwrapping her mozzarella sandwich and her large diamond ring glistened in the afternoon sun coming through the window.

A secretary walked in bringing in the papers. Misha turned to her and suddenly exhaled, “Is this a real Chanel?” pointing to the secretary’s wrist watch.

“What are you pointing at?” the secretary said in surprise. ” I don’t have anything “big name label” on me, Misha.” she smiled shyly and hurried to walk away.

Misha whispered biting into her sandwich, “Amazing illusion about that watch!” and then back to her colleague: “What were you saying? I am slipping away, I can’t follow. Perhaps I need to take another pill.”

“What are those pills?”

“My shrink gave me those. Take one and you can’t feel anything, isn’t it great?”

“How do you know you are alive then? How do you function?”

“What do you mean? I come to work, I eat, I go to sleep. On weekends, I read and lay in bed.”

“Misha, listen toy ourself. When do you know you are alive?”

“I want to NOT BE bothered. If I have to pay attention to my body, my feelings, it becomes too much work. How do I keep focused on my team project at work.”

“You can’t say what you want by describing what you don’t want. This makes no sense.” Lidah threw the remainder of her sandwich into the trash. “Instead of being NOT bothered, what DO you want?”

” I want to be NOT BOTHERED! So leave me alone, I can’t make any more decisions and I don’t want anything.”

“Well, that’s clear now! I know what you don’t want. Still don’t kn ow what you want.” She was all ready to leave. “I pity you. And that’s my mistake. I get sucked into these conversations and regret them. You get off on other people pitying you, so you don’t have to do anything about your melancholy. It is a way of life for you, but it is not you! Your secondary gain is too grand! You just survive, just barely exist. But you don’t live. You don’t allow yourself to feel the fullness of life, emotions and sensations. Value a breath of fresh air, good food, making love. And while you are taking pills numbing yourself from life you can’t change, and this way, you’ll never have what you want, because having it will mean for you to stop doing this.

“Think.” she was passionately leaning toward Misha now. “Everybody wants something. What do you want? A man, a lifestyle, more success, perhaps harmony, or just feeling good. I know you want something good happen in your life.  Allow yourself to feel alive! It’s not the death you must be afraid of, it’s not having lived at all!”

Lidah had left but her words were pounding in my head.

And Misha looked out the window, and slowly said: “Perhaps, I should move to Israel.”

I was not surprised about what I heard. I realized that many women feel this way. Many women, who are busy and who have much on their plate, literally struggle to eat it all up. Many of them take medication to numb their senses, then they can’t tell wether they are hungry or not, so they overeat, they are too numb to exercise or get interested in a hobby, so they don’t. They are too tired to play with their partner, so they drop pleasure out of their schedule. Everything seems like a lot of effort.

I understand. I know what you need. Why? Because I have been where she is.

When I worked on Wall Street and reached high net worth executive position, I realized that my success was only success on the outside and on the inside it was a complete flop. That was almost 15 years ago. Now I show other women what to do when they feel like that as part of my mentoring agreement with them.

You need someone caring and confidential, trusted advisor to show you the way. Someone to create a safe heaven for you and hold space for you to become aware of yourself, to figure out what you want, until you are able to do it for yourself. Help you, save you. Show you the way.

As I was listening to these women their conversation became tiresome for me.

Lucky for me, I know what to do to keep myself interested in life, in love and my work. I know who I am, and what I want and how to be at my very best so I can feel alive. Having learned this amazing tool, I was able to regain my grip on my life. Knowing the model, by which I live, I can make decisions easily and quickly, and I don’t regret them, as I used to do.

Well, if you are one of those who are disinterested in life, dissatisfied, and you had success in the past, and want more success in other areas in your life, let me hear from you. We all live inside the story we tell ourselves and we are the main hero in it. So tell ourself a better story! I will help you let go of the story of your past and create the story you want to tell yourself.

Please write comments below. Share your story.

 

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