Imagine how shocked I was when a 53-year old woman told me that she would like to begin to enjoy her life.
And working with women I found what they are really looking for is balance. Balance as esthetically pleasing integration of elements in their life, including their mental stability, physical equilibrium and emotional steadiness. this combination of elements creates a homeostasis, a balanced harmony, wholeness.
This wholeness is a reason why I don’t do work with problem, issues, or even symptoms. This is why I believe that we are not broken, we are whole and there is nothing to fix.
Nothing to fix. The universe is perfect and all things are the way they should be.
Look at this sequence: When a child is born and lives in an environment when the influences come from everywhere: parents, teachers, family, environment, culture, and form the belief system of a young person, by the age of 5 the first beliefs are strongly formed and by the age of 13 the belief system of the young adult is in place and complete.
Then further sequences happen, situations occur to support certain beliefs and little by little, we only track for those sequences that support the beliefs we already have.
Certain organic changes begin to happen, we hold stress in certain places, parts of our body and habitual behaviors, consequent to those changes begin to substantiate the beliefs with physical changes: we acquire physical symptoms, diseases, behavioral habits. Although, all it seems to be, that some beliefs were installed so early in in our childhood, when our brain was not yet developed enough to integrate the influences, so the shock to the young system jolted us in its inability to integrate what went on.
In adulthood, what begins to happen, as we grow up, situations pile up on top of that belief and the belief is reinforced. Instead what needs to happen is an update to the belief, but on our own it is almost impossible to do.
A girl witnessed a fight between two other girls, one of whom a bully, she secretly admired. The bully girl behavior instilled instantly a programming in the witness girl a belief that it is ok to bully others for self-benefit. Her sister missed the incident by staying inside the house. When she came our her newly updated sister bullied her about her inability to recite a poem. Even though the first girl was not able to recite either, it was the second girl, a victim, who now has the instilled belief that she is a failure.
Years later, when they grow up, the sisters experience is dramatically different, partially because of this early childhood experience. To correct it, or rather, let say, to update the behavioral beliefs, we need to first establish the real true belief system, not the one that was influenced onto them.
Work in subconscious states regarding this update is much more beneficial and much faster, than regular therapy. Where regula therapy can take years and years, bringing nothing than further frustration and no movement forward, as in the words of one woman-recent client: “I want to stop calling her (her therapist) back, and can’t find a reason, other than – It’s not working on me. In the 7 years I saw her, we do the same thing: mull over the what’s wrong” stuff,” she says, “instead as with you and Mark I learn new tools to be pro-active in my life and have a choice in changing things or not and it is so empowering. I can recognize and do what I feel is the next “right thing” to do.”
She wants to enjoy her life. What would that be like? It is just a feeling of being satisfied with the experience of life.
Tags: balance, equilibrium, harmony, homeostasis, Morrin Bass, satisfied, steadiness
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