Thinking vs. Experiencing – A Desirable Change in Perspective

This course made me realize that there are two ways to view myself and my life: From the outside looking in (how others see me), and from the inside looking out (how I see myself). Now that I’m aware of these perspectives, I can think about everything differently.

What discipline solicited such a thoughtful, life-changing reaction from a student? Psychology? Religion? Philosophy? None of the above. It was a class about the uses of our language.

When I was a school-girl I wished I knew how to see a bigger picture, how to make good decisions. When I grew up, I came to know many people through the course of my work in banking and in the arts, and now in mentoring who wish they knew how to make quality decisions, how to make sure that they are doing the right thing.

I pay attention to specific perspectives from which people tell their story, uncovering deeper layers. Sometimes, they are present in their story, sometimes they are not. Sometimes, they are deep in the problem and can’t see the light. I show them where the light is and connect them with the wisdom. Then it is easier for them to make meaning, understand, analyze, and create further structure, as I hold the space for them to do it.

The way we speak to ourselves uncovers the language patterns and structure of beliefs. Unsuspecting a watchful eye, or in my case, a listening ear, many seekers tell their story from a perspective of a problem. But a problem is only a problem if we look at it this way. Sometimes a problem can be useful if it leads to the truth, a new way of self-discovery, a life of adventure, fulfillment and purpose.

The is an ancient myth. And it goes like this.

A king dies leaving a young son who inherited not only the riches, but the enemies. Soon the war started and the King’s son had no choice but escape, with no means, only his close helper. He arrived to a town seeking work, no one wanted to speak with him.

One day the King’s son overheard a conversation of a baron’s who wished he had a perfume that would soften his lady’s heart. The King’s son was suddenly intrigued with the idea of finding a recipe for such perfume. He knew somehow that he could do it, so he asked the perfumer to teach him his craft. The perfumer had no apprentice and the deal was done.

The boy was unusually creative and learned fast. He had real talent to creating perfumes. He used special crystals and plants, he had used in his land. He uncovered a recipe that could make the baron’s lady’s heart melt. He then wrote to the baron and offered him the perfume. The aroma attracted the baron and the decor of the bottle were pretty so he gave him a purse of gold and placed three more orders.

The task was fulfilled again and the boy received another, a bigger purse with gold. He hired help and began his own perfume business. Soon the baron returned for more and then introduced the boy to the royal family.

The boy quickly prospered. He became a royal perfumer. Daily he was directing his thoughts to creating new scents, new labels, and perfecting the old ones, and nightly he rested listening to a water-fall and singing. In the morning her started again, and at night rested again.

One day a war started and he lost everything he earned, and again he had to leave. But this time he knew what to do when he comes to a town.

I work with my clients so they are able to make higher quality decisions not only when they are in need and on their own. Together they uncover a way to accessing their inner wisdom at any time, and about anything.

You can give a man a fish and then he will have dinner. You can teach a man to fish, and he will never go hungry. Says an ancient proverb.

Which would you prefer a one-night dinner, or a skill for life?

Come join us for a day-course on the importance of perspective and use of daily language. Click here to go to It’s all In the Language.

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Leave A Reply (1 comment so far)

  1. T
    8 years ago


    Great posting and set of exercises. I will do this for 60 days and deepen into the experience I am having. I appreciate your continuos learning and teaching.


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