Success or Satisfaction?

Many people forget that success comes with satisfaction. In order to enjoy life we must remember to enjoy each moment.

Unfortunately, many busy successful people create difficulties for themselves, overworking themselves and running themselves out of balance, and them point out the lack enjoyment in life. I meet many people due to the nature of my work, as a mentor and as a speaker, and those who are in their 30s, 40s and 50s and who are questioning themselves, the value of their life, contribution and meaning.

Those big cosmological questions about meaning of life arise in us, because we are innately programmed to do the best we can and to succeed and prolong the life of our society. We have to do our best, and what’s best for all of us.

Whenever we are not able to do our best, or we lose sight of our intention, we are beginning to deplete our motivation, and inspiration, and crave deeper satisfaction, meaning and inner significance.

All that is points to a lack of balance. You see, when in balance, all is well.

So what’s balance? According to the dictionary Balance is

A state of equilibrium or parity characterized by a harmonious and satisfying proportionate coexistence of parts or elements, as in a design of the system as a whole, a homeostasis of the system.

Like many people I had no idea what balance was. I grew up following authority. My father was my authority. He told me that working hard is the only way to be successful. But I looked at him and wondered. Because he didn’t seem to “work” when he was working hard. He was successful and worked a lot, yes, but it was the way he did it, that made me question the ‘hard working’ part of his message. He loved what he did, not because he had to work hard. After each day I could see the happy smile of satisfaction on his face. He joked and playfully teased me, yet I knew he just returned from a 12-hour work-day. And so I  began to wonder how to be successful and enjoy what I do.

What’s the secret?

My discovery took time.

As the French say, — work to live, not live to work. Before I knew it I was holding a PhD in Architecture and I did not like architecture as much as my father did. In fact, I did not k now what I liked, and it was another 12 years of working in banking when I realized, I wanted something else. The success was there, with me the entire time. Yet, I wasn’t happy, I did not have satisfaction, I wasn’t sure of the meaning of my life. I was looking for a deeper experience of being alive.

And in Joseph Campbell words, the world is perfect, it’s a mess, it’s always been a mess, and our purpose is not to fix the world, our purpose is to straighten out our own lives.

I began my journey on 9/11/2001. When with the towers collapse, my world collapsed, and I began my self-discovery. I searched for what would make sense, and i found it in a model of my mentor Joseph Riggio, of Princeton, NJ, who showed me how to experience myself from a positive perspective.

Do you ever have an experience when you just can’t put your foot down wrong, and everything seems to be flowing?

When the life just makes sense without you having to struggle for answers?

When the deep satisfaction and the tue feeling of being alive leads you to sing, laugh and embrace your neighbor?

Being excited about the future, or the sunshine or your cat?

The m ore I learned to live from this position the more my life made sense to me.

I don’t have all the answers. But I found the way that naturally, from within, creates balanced and satisfying state with a positive perspective.

I want to offer you a short insight to your own inner balance. After you are done reading this, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember to exhale. Take a few more deep breaths. Stop your thinking. Start noticing. Notice how gradually your mind becomes clear and that your mental clarity becomes a new sense of well-being. And notice that it feels good. Stop here and feel good.

This is how being in balance starts. Then you can begin to enhance your practice by sustaining this sensation for longer time. Extend your awareness to more of your surroundings, and people who are in your environment. Keep the sensation of well-being. You will notice the new sense of readiness arising from here.

From here it is easy to make good quality decisions. Very simple. From this point, being in balance arises a new opportunity to connect with inner knowing, and without knowing being able to feel comfortable with knowing of this new kind. Emerging knowing of what to do next.

So I keep this idea in mind every day, being in balance, and it informs me what to do next. 

And frankly, it’s a big deal. So many leaders today, are not able to be in balance, Being out of balance like some of them are leads to poor decisions. One day they say a good thing and the next day they do something not very smart like putting provocative pictures on the internet, or saying in public things that trigger international conflicts.

And I am concerned about it. A good leader needs to know about their own balance and be able to find his own position of balance and sustain it. Much of what I am saying here is in my recent book Staying In The Light. The book is not yet published and I offer it at an introductory price, because I want more people to begin to live their life in satisfaction with their own life experience.

If you read this far, comment below. You have some thoughts, share them. We all want to hear them. Your comments are important to me and to the community. You are a valuable part of the group and I look forward to hearing from you.

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